Recovery mail 3 : Honey, I shrunk the Tumor!
Thursday, September 30 2004
Dear Friends around the Globe,
Certainly I hope it will not become some form of habit to start these emails every time with excuses about me not answering personal emails from you guys… I’ll get in touch with a lot of you soon! And I really appreciate getting all your emails (and also thanks for the books and comics and chocolate and DVD’s from opera’s and National Geographics and computer games and cards and letters and more…).
Recap of this email
I am doing nothing all day except fighting tumors and I am pretty good at it! I have received eight doses of chemotherapy by now and will have to face4 or 8 doses more, followed by one month of radiotherapy. We’re hanging in there!
Medical situation
Last Friday I got the results of a CT-scan made two weeks earlier and the results were very very good!
- Compared to the information from the CT-scan made before the treatment, the tumor is approximately 5 times smaller! (the tumor now is approximately 20% of it’s original size). The stunning dimensions of the original tumor were some 16 cm by 13 cm by 13 cm which is now reduced to some 10 cm by 8.5 cm by 6.5 (of course, a tumor is not geometrically shaped, but yes : this means the original tumor was over 2 liters in volume!). Of what is left now, quite some part is scar-tissue (littekenweefsel) which will remain anyway and is completely harmless. My doctor was very enthusiastic about this results, calling it ‘perfect’ and ‘a textbook-example’. Oh yeah!
- Furthermore, the last remaining water in the interpleural space in my lower right lung has gone and my right lung has re-expanded itself perfectly. That my lung can re-expand like that is an amazing thing in itself.
- Finally, this scan showed that virtually all water from is removed from the sack around my heart. Do I need to mention I am very excited with these results?
The 14-day cycle and preferences regarding side effects
Although I’m doing okay, the situation has changed a little since my last email. At that time my doctor said that “I was walking through” the first two chemo’s way too easily and that the treatment would become more rough.
Well, by now we’ve hit that stage ;-).
My life is organized in a 14-day cycle. The ‘chemo’ makes me pretty sick and fills me with nausea for the first couple of days. Right after chemotherapy I’m quite devastated and people are very nice to me. Last chemotherapy for instance, my mother gave me “total loss”-candies and my girlfriend remarked how great I now match the color of my walls (which is yellow). Recovery of the chemo takes a little longer than at first, but in the ’second week’ I’m still able to feel good and do quite some fun things. In the first week, my ‘core business’ is going out for lunch with friends, while in the second week I can be more active. I’m still eating very well.
The most notorious thing that has happened since my last email was that somewhere near my second and fourth chemotherapy I experienced some ‘problems’ with my heart, which both lasted only for an hour or two, but which did not make me feel very comfortable. It’s something with a high and slightly abnormal heart-rhythm. My doctor says this can be part of the possible side-effects. I decided to ’slow down’ quite significantly (can youimagine?) and avoid situations where I feel such a thing is more likely to happen and that was a good move. I haven’t experienced such a thing since (8+ weeks ago) and I also feel that resting and not making a lot of appointments speed up my recovery. At this moment, from time to time I can still ‘feel’ my heart and I sleep not to well because of that. On the other hand, knowing that those more serious situations are history, makes me relax and realize it’s only part of the happy side effects chemotherapy offers.
And there’s no alarm ringing for me in the morning!
I guess this heart-rhythm thing probably also had to do with a more general mental acceptance of the situation that I am ill for now and need to rest.
I’m just not used to being ill : Sanne told me that she can remember me only once being ill in the last 5 years… At least I’m catching up with something 
Pavlov’s dog
I feel like that critter, because I feel I too am prone to conditioning.
Because I know what’s going to happen next when going to the hospital every two weeks, I already start feeling bad. And since six weeks or so ago, I practically already have to vomit BEFORE getting the chemotherapy.
Ironically enough, this especially starts when I’m being administered the anti-nausea medicine. I can trick my body a little with eating strong eucalyptus candies and sniffing nice lemon-napkins, but I’m afraid my body is quite a good learning entity. I’ll keep you posted on this psychological experiment.
Furthermore, when someone mentions the name of one of the cytostatica or something else which make me think of the treatment, no matter what time or situation, I instantly start shivering and feel the urge to vomit. I’m Pavlov’s dog! Bark, bark!
Fun things!
I am making sure that I rest enough, but it’s important to do some fun things as well! So I started following another course at the University in linear algebra (can anyone possibly imagine a more fun thing?) and lately I started following a course in Spanish at the University as well (hablas Español?). Next week, a course in golf is starting which I will follow with two ‘roommates’. And finally, I’m spending some time on my websites.
I’m still living in my “student-house” in the center of Leiden, which is great because it allows me to have a lot of nice brunches, lunches and dinners with friends in the city when I feel like it. Furthermore, I have great roommates, family and a superb girlfriend who take care of me. Thank God for them.
Oh, and I’m pretty bald by now. Nothing political though :).
Love,
Rogier